S P A C E.
Space.
A simple word, but with so many meanings.
My job and my work is about creating space; physically within the body- making space within the muscles and fascia so that the body can function at it's optimum. Letting the body breathe. Allowing openness.
Then there is holding space for whoever comes to see me. Creating a safe space for that person, and for the mind to let go and just be. To meditate.
It's the same for Space, the yoga studio here in Brighton.
It's taken me a while to find a studio quite like it. I have hopped and dotted myself all over the place across Brighton, but never really found what I was looking for. There are a few classes I like, but this place is something special.
I put off signing up for so long because I always made the excuse that I wouldn't be able to get to many of the classes because of my work schedule; but unlimited classes for a month trial, it was silly not to give it a go. And I'm so glad I did.
I had been deliberating in my head whether I can afford to continue at the normal rate, but I realised how great this month has been for me and it made me think about what yoga means to me and the positive effect it has on every part of my life.
I watched the documentary I am Maris on Netflix the other night, and after giving it some time I realised how similar her experience with yoga for her mental health was to mine.
I found yoga in 2015, when I was in a really bad head space and my mental health was in the pits. If I think about it, my head was a total scramble of dark thoughts and emotions. I thought I was ill from a parasite, my body was probably still healing for sure, but I most definitely (now looking back) was really suffering with seasonal affective disorder, and it was all wrapped up nicely in an eating disorder.
I started getting obsessed with being skinny in 2012 when my then boyfriend broke up with me, and it was a way to have some control over my life. It became total obsession, and I look back and think how sad it all is. I grew up as a bit of a fat boy in those embarrassing teenage years, and we all joke about it (I got mistaken for Alex numerous times 🙄😂), and I love to laugh about it now, but I definitely wasn't comfortable in my own skin. This new found slimness was addictive and the sense of control more so. It's so illogical, I know, but the one thing I grasped onto and felt like I could control. And I became really good at it. It's played a role in my life until only a couple of years ago. And that's where yoga comes in.
It honestly lifted me up and made me see the light like no other. I don't know what it is about being on your mat and turning inward, but I respected my body and I wanted to be strong so I could physically do it too. I wanted to learn to love myself.
The classes at Space are intense and I usually come out of class with sweat dripping down my nose and out my eyeballs 😂
I love the mindfulness of yoga, and sometimes I want a slower more gentle practice. A ying and yang practice is sometimes just what I need. But my real go to is a crazy strong vinyasa, and I would no way have been able to do such a strong practice if I'd still been living off a tiny bowl of vegetables a night. Give me a vegan burger any day 🍔 Literally, life is for livin' man.
Seasonal affective disorder will always be a part of my life unless I move to another country and skip winters…Which as much as that sounds great, just isn’t realistic! Even with a trip to Bali this year, I really struggled with it and honestly dread it like I'm on some sort of timer. But I'm making a vow to myself to never forget what yoga does for me. You literally can't put a price on health. Mental/physical, it's all the same.
Yoga does keep me in check physically, it ensures I stretch it all out after a long day working. It ensures I'm balanced after the impact running has on my body. And it tides me over until the next massage I get.
An added bonus is that it makes me super strong so I can beat up my deep tissue clients, so there's that too! 😂
Yoga is the one, and I have so much respect for all the yogis that show up on their mat everyday, from all walks of life. There isn't anything like the vibe and buzz you get from that class environment, and the energy that vibrates in the room.
When things get rocky in my life, yoga is my anchor. It is a safe space to just be, let go and surrender. It reminds me that meeting things with resistance there will be pain, but if you let go and surrender to what life throws at you, things become a lot easier.
It's my constant; the thing that keeps me level-headed, and the thing that grounds me the most.
When things in life get heavy and I feel weak; it reminds me that I am strong, I am resilient, I am worthy, and I am whole.
So thank you Space, for being a constant reminder that I put my health first.
In this day and age; life stresses and our fast-paced way of living, it’s so important to find something that lights you up, and that nurtures your wellbeing. Whatever that is for you, make sure you do it, and choose yourself over and over again.
Love & light to all of you ❤️💡The light in me honours the light in you.
Namaste 🙏🏾